Movies I'd Like to See Vol. 4

Dylan Dog

To begin with, it must be said that there already is a movie in development, called Dead of Night, based on this best-selling Italian comic book, and supposedly Brandon Routh (who played Superman in Superman Returns, go figure) has been cast as the eponymous nightmare investigator. Now, the fact that there is a movie in pre-production doesn't mean that is the movie I want to see made.


My biggest worry is that Dead of Night will not be able to make the Dylan Dog character. I'm not sure that Routh has the acting ability to portray this rather layered character (even if I think that Rough looks more like Dylan Dog should than what Superman should). Dylan Dog is a young-ish former cop, that after a series of traumatizing events decides to call it quits and instead work as a private detective, one that specializes in investigating nightmares and the unexplained. In a way, he is a British Fox Mulder... yes, British, because even if the comic is italian, the comic is set in London. Dylan Dog is not the classical tough guy, on the contrary, he is quite vulnerable. He has a number of phobias despite having to deal with horrific situations all the time, he carries a 19th century Bodeo revolver, and his sidekick/butler is Groucho Marx... no, not that Groucho Marx, but the real Groucho Marx.


A lot of the best Dylan Dog stories are pretty much movie scripts done in a comic format. Truth is that many of the writers of the series don't approach Dylan Dog in a conventional comic book way, maybe because many of them are novelists in their day jobs. Always firmly rooted in horror, a Dylan Dog comic can range from a "splatter horror" to a "slasher horror", from a "whodunit mystery" to a more oneiric/surreal, almost poetic, type of horror story. From Zombies, to serial killers, from witches to ghosts, from science gone wrong to demonic possessions, anything and everything related with the horror genre has been explored in Dylan Dog since it's 1986 debut.

There is a movie based on another character by Tiziano Sclavi, Dylan Dog's creator, called Dellamore Dellamorte (a.k.a. Cemetery Man), that some have mistakely dubbed as an unofficial Dylan Dog movie, mainly because Rupert Everett stars in it, and Dylan Dog's look was originally inspired in the actor's likeness. While some elements of the movie are indeed Dylandogesque (I believe it has more to do with Sclavi's signature style than anything else) the tone of the movie, despite all the gore, is too farcical. A Dylan Dog movie can and should be better than that! The comics do have their comedy relief, mostly coming from Groucho's jokes and Dylan's self-deprecating humor, and in counted occasions it delves into the absurd. The movie should try to play it as straight as possible, so that it feels real, cause it only is scary as it is real.

Of all things, I believe that the hardest things to adapt from the comic are: having Groucho Marx as the assistant, for several obvious reasons, and Dylan's last name. Dark Horse had to edit him in the American reprints of the comics, I'm guessing to avoid legal actions from the Groucho Marx estate and family. It'll be a shame to lose Groucho in the film though.

If done right, and I should know better than keeping my hopes high for a movie based on a comic, Dylan Dog could become a male horror movie icon to rival Evil Dead's Ash Williams, while being an almost total polar opposite.

Judgement Day.

A message to the people that license intellectual properties at Sony: It was about friggin' time! Rumor has it that the real hold up behind the fact that there have never been action figures based on the 4 ghostbusters as they were seen in the movies was Bill Murray(there was a long running toy line based on the cartoon of the 80's as well as a collection based on the Extreme Ghostbusters toon of the 90's), if that really was the case, I'm happy he finally changed his mind.

In recent years with toy collecting becoming something that some adults have taken up as a hobby, innumerable movie characters, ranging from indie films to cult pictures, have been turned into plastic figurines that nerds love. It would be unfair to say that Ghostbusters didn't get any love, because some 5 years ago the ghosts of the first movie were treated with care and made into high quality figures... but the deal to make the four ghostbusters themselves was never reached... until now.


Actually Ghostbusters despite being a fairly well-known franchise has always seemed to receive a cold-shoulder from the people at Sony. There was never a "Collector's Edition" type DVD release, packed with exciting extras, just a 1999 release that while good for it's time was never improved on. The Blu-Ray to be released later this year seems to be a direct port of that DVD with pretty much the same extras but better video quality. There is a videogame coming out this year to celebrate the movie's 25th anniversary, but at some point it seemed like it was going to be canceled. The landmark animation series was finally last year released in it's entirety, but only after years and years of pleading by the fanbase. I've also heard that some high-quality, and super-expensive, movie props replicas are coming out... so maybe the Sony people finally is opening their eyes.

Which brings me to the recurring rumor that there are plans for a 3rd Ghostbusters movie. I say rumor because ever since the mid-90's reports on scripts and ideas for a new movie have surfaced, but they always fall apart. I'm a huge fan of the first movie, but I really think the 2nd movie is a dull mess, so I have mixed feelings on the possibility of a 3rd one. Sure, seeing the guys doing some ghostbusting action might be fun to see, but not if it comes at the expense of the comedy, the characters or the story. I'm convinced I don't want to see middle-aged men running around with proton-packs on their backs and complaining they are too old for it. I'm sure the characters can't be recast because no current high-profile comedian can do the understated type comedy that Murray, Ayckroyd, Ramis, Hudson, Moranis and Co. were able to mold in 1984. Having people like Jack Black, Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller or Will Smith as a new generation of ghostbusters is just plain wrong... there is no good solution to the problem, except not making a Ghostbusters III.

Ghostbusters II was bad enough.

Movies I'd like to see Vol.3

Diablo

Continuing the series of fantasies concerning the movies I'd like to see in the big screen, this time I'm gonna jump medium, from comics to videogames, and switch genre, from action-adventure to horror.

I'm an acolyte of Blizzard and it's computer games. I believe all their three franchises have the potential to be turned into movies, since storytelling is something Blizzard puts emphasis with their games. There has been some talk of a live-action Warcraft movie, but shockingly they have said they plan not to make it a war movie but instead a quest movie. Personally, I think it would be a mistake, missing the opportunity to do something epic, and instead settling for something that might end up being like any other swords and sorcery story.


Anyways, Warcraft will always have the problem of resembling Tolkien's work, or even worse a Dungeons and Dragon movie. Starcraft, is undeniably similar to Starship Troopers but with an extra alien race. Of the three franchises, I believe that Diablo is the one that could become something unique.


It does have swords and sorcery, and it is set in a world clearly influenced by the Europe of the middle ages, but the real foundation of the story is the never-ending battle between heaven and hell. There are no colorful races like elves or hobbits, and all enemies are demonic in nature. Truth is that the only way to approach Diablo is as a straight-up horror movie. Sure, the games have heavy doses of action, and it wasn't slow-paced at all, but the idea behind it, with the soundtrack, all the darkness and the tension of not knowing what was coming around the corner, was all meant to spook you.


I'm not sure a lone hero against the forces of hell (from the first Diablo game) would work. You need some interaction between characters and dialogue to create tension, also it allows the possibility of having some victims along the way. So maybe a small group of mercenaries and glory-seekers should be the ones to enter the cathedral in Tristam, and venture deeper into the catacombs that lead to the gates of hell.


Movies based on videogames have a horrible track record, and there have actually been a few attempts to make horror movies out of games. The Resident Evil series, in my opinion, is unwatchable, and it might have zombies and try to scare you, but it truly is a series of lame action movies. Then there is Silent Hill, that some thought was above average, but I wasn't impressed, maybe because I never played that game. So experience says that making a Diablo movies might not be a wise idea, but Hollywood has to eventually make a fine translation so...

Movies I'd like to see Vol.2

Green Lantern

While Warner Brothers has found an incredible smash hit in The Dark Knight (something I will admit caught me off guard, I can't believe that movie made that much money), the truth is they haven't really done a good job mining the portfolio of characters they have in DC Comics. They botched Superman, and made a questionable decision in going for a Catwoman solo movie. Soon they will release a movie based on Watchmen, which is not a movie based in characters of the DC Universe.

I believe that while Wonder Woman might be tricky to translate to the big screen (but it must be done!), other characters like Flash, but more specifically, Green Lantern, are just begging to be made into successful movies. A few years ago there were plans to make a comedy with Green Lantern, but thankfully that idea was dropped. Now, with the success of The Dark Knight, Warner has said they want to make more "mature" superhero movies since people responded so well to the "darkness" in TDK. I don't know if they are aware that darkness wont fit a Wonder Woman or Flash movie.

I've always said that Green Lantern already has a story that could be easily translated into a trilogy. Of course the only way these movies would work requires Warner not to go for the cheap route and probably make the most expensive movies ever. On the other hand, Green Lantern lends itself perfectly to have countless toy lines to tie-in with movie. Unlike Superman, who really doesn't need any accessories like weapons or vehicles, the Green Lanterns can make "energy constructs" of anything they can imagine, not to mention there are over 7000 different Green Lanterns, of all sorts of alien races, that come in all shapes and forms.

Green Lantern: Emerald Dawn

The first movie would be more or less the standard origin story. We would learn how test pilot Hal Jordan, after surviving a near fatal plane accident with an alien ship, finds a moribond, red-skinned alien that gives him a ring that is the most powerful weapon in the universe.

This would take Jordan to Oa, the Headquarters of the Green Lantern Corps, an intergalactic police force ruled by the Guardians of the Universe. As in all cop movies the rookie is assigned to work with a veteran Lantern, and quite possibly the greatest of them all: Siniestro (yeah, the name is a dead give-away that he will become our bad guy). While spending a short period of time as a wide-eyed rookie traveling around the universe and fighting alien crime, Hal Jordan should soon start to suspect his mentor, and later unmask him to the rest of the Guardians and the Corps.

With Siniestro defeated, Jordan takes his place as the greatest Green Lantern.

Green Lantern: Emerald Twilight

The second movie should start with a huge alien invasion on Earth and Hal defending his hometown, Coast City. Considering it is a worldwide in alien invasion, there could be passing comments and even flash cameos of other DC comics characters. Jordan at first, arrogantly refuses help from other Lanterns or heroes, and while the alien invasion is ultimately drove away, his city is oblierated. All his loved ones gone.

Torn by pain and anguish he tries to use his ring to bring back to life the millions that died in Coast City, and for a brief moment succeeds, but the Guardians pull the plug on this. Alledging that he is using his power for personal gain, the guardians send a small contingency of Lanterns to bring Jordan for questioning, what Jordan takes as an insult and refuses to surrender himself. Having to fight other the Lanterns that wanted to capture him, finally drives him out of his mind... and sets his eye on going to Oa, to take down the Guardians (and every Lantern that might be in his path there), and take all the power of the Cetral Battery for himself. That way no one would be able to stop him from repairing the damage done to Coast City.

While the Guardians and all the Green Lanterns put up a fight in Oa, Hal Jordan willpower makes him an unstoppable force. Those Lanterns that don't lose their rings, die fighting, and the Guardians finally fall to Jordan's might. One Guardian, Ganthet is able to sneak away, and escape to Earth, figuring that the only way to stop an earthman is with another earthman. Weakened he hands 1 remaining ring to the first person he sees: graphic designer Kyle Rayner.

The movie ends with Hal Jordan having almost god-like powers, but knowing he needs that 1 ring to really be able to do anything, even reshape the whole universe.

Green Lantern: Emerald... Night? Knights? A New Dawn? (I don't know)

Ganthet explains the situation to Kyle Rayner and how he is the only hope of the Universe, to which Rayner responds with fear and denial. Ganthet explains that fear is the worst thing that a ring bearer can feel, because it weakens it's power. Ganthet forces his will into the reluctant young hero, beginning a trial by fire so that Rayner might be prepared for the moment Jordan returns to reclaim that final ring.

In the meantime mad with power Jordan is not looking for Ganthet or the ring, but instead hunts around the galaxies the colonizing alien fleet that destroyed Coast City, and makes them pay for all the deaths and pain they caused. Unknowingly giving time to Ganthet and the last Green Lantern to train.

When the final confrontation between Hal Jordan and Kyle Rayner occurs, I'm not sure how would a poorly trained guy with a weapon he barely comprehends would be able to stop the greatest Green Lantern with god-like powers. The ring is powered by willpower, but limited by imagination, I figure a graphic designer has more imagination than a military pilot. Anyways, in the end Hal was never really evil, just blinded by pain and confusion, he would surrender his powers to Kyle Rayner, realizing the pure intentions of this new guy, and how much damage he has done himself.

Rayner with unlimited powers now, considers making it so that any of it ever happens. Re-writting history, so that Coast City was never destroyed, so Jordan would never go insane, and he would never get the huge responsability of becoming a god. Ganthet stops him, remiding him that he can't do that, that there si no real difference between that an what Jordan wanted to do, that lessons must be learned or history would just repeat itself. Kyle finally decides to reignite the Central Battery in Oa, effectively deplenishing his powers to a "normal" state. Hal Jordan is willingly imprisioned inside the Central Battery where he would never be able to escape. With the Battery back online the Guardians come back to life, and start plans to rebuild the Corps with Kyle Rayner at the head.


I think that a movie saga where the hero of the first film becomes the villian is relatively unique, and would blow some peoples mind. Well, Anakin Skywalker goes thru a similar situation in the Star Wars prequels, but everyone knew he would become Darth Vader, and he wasn't the hero in Episode 1, so maybe its not that similar. The other thing is that you couldn't do this with any other superhero. You can't make that with Superman, Spider-Man not even with Wolverine, but Green Lantern being a small army of characters allows this story to happen.

I, for one, was always a huge fan of Kyle Rayner, and thought that Hal Jordan was a dull, square character typical of the silver age. I had just migrated from reading Marvel to reading DC when the Emerald Twilight story happened in the comics, and Kyle Rayner was the guest-star in the first Superman comic I got after deciding I was tired of Marvel. So I'm terribly biased to that story. Now, if movie audiences are anything like the people that read comics, people just wont accept Hal Jordan going down as a villian. For 10 years fan of Hal Jordan demanded their hero to be brought back to the comics, and finally DC gave in. Which brings me to:

Green Lantern: Siniestro Corps ('cause trilogies these days never stop at 3 anymore)

I admit that an ending where the hero is imprisoned forever might be hard to swallow for the general audiences, so there could be a fourth movie to redeem the character of Hal Jordan. Based in the fairly recent and successful Siniestro Corps War storyline of the comics. I don't know this story all that well, since I don't read that much comics anymore, but roughly it is about the old mentor and enemy of Hal Jordan, Siniestro, coming back with an army of ring-bearers of his own to fight the seemingly weakened Green Lanterns. In the movie, unlike the comics, Kyle Rayner would be the only established Green Lantern and the rest only rookies. This would force the Guardians to release the only man capable of stopping Siniestro: Hal Jordan.

Movies I'd like to see Vol.1

Cadillacs and Dinosaurs

Comic book movies have been the rage for the past 10 years. Superhero movies have pretty much dominated the box office in recent years with X-Men, Spider-Man and Batman. It is true that there have been quite a few duds too (Daredevil, Electra, Catwoman, Hulk, Superman) to be honest. That said, comic book movies not based in superhero monthlies have had their share of success, like 300 or Sin City. Xenozoic Tales (a.k.a. Cadillacs and Dinosaurs) falls in that second category... in fact, it might be done in a comic book format, but it has more in common with the adventure stories in pulp magazines of the 1950's.

Xenozoic Tales began as a critically acclaimed, independent, comic book series of the mid-80's by Mark Schultz (that in the late 90's-early 2000's went on to write some very neat sci-fi oriented Superman comics). Only 14 issues were published in ten years, from 1986 to 1996, and the final chapter of the story has yet to be seen. Even so, Cadillacs and Dinosaurs was adapted to a short-lived animated series, a fondly remembered beat'em up arcade game, a FMV video game (that was my introduction to the franchise), and even a few miniseries of comics done to tie-in with the cartoon series.


When asked what Xenozoic Tales is all about, you could really say that in a nutshell "it is about Cadillacs and dinosaurs", in fact, I believe that is how the nickname for the series was coined, but the truth is that the concept is a little more deeper than that.

It all takes place some 600 years in the future, 500 plus years after an apocalyptic event only known as The Great Cataclysm, a worldwide disaster that almost wiped all humanity from the face of the earth and forced the few survivors to live underground for centuries. The men that developed and maintained the machinery to make sustainable life underground, came to be known Old Blood Mechanics, and it was them who lead humanity on those dark times. When it was finally saved to come back to the surface they find the world is not the same they remembered, lush vegetation has taken over the world, effectively turning cities into ruins inside a jungle, and almost every species of wildlife that ever walked the earth is back, obviously dinosaurs, but also large pre-historic mammals like woolly mammoths and smilodons cats, and even pre-cambric trilobites.

The technology in this distant future is pretty primitive, there is no electricity, telecommunications are a thing of the past, air travel is back to its infancy. That said, in this treacherous future everyone seems to have at the very least a revolver holstered on their waist, more than a few carry a shotgun to deal with the treacherous surroundings. Motorized land vehicles do exist, refurbished from the 20th century and modified to run on slither guano.

Slither is the word used to denominate dinosaurs, apparently all the scientific names got lost after 500 years of oral tradition. So Tyrannosaurs are Shivats, Allosaurs are known as Cutters, Pteranodons as Zekes, Triceraptops are Macks... you get the idea.


This is the world the hero of the story, Jack Tenrec, lives in. He is a direct descendant of the Old Blood Mechanics, and an authority in the doctrine of the Machinatio Vitae, which is about keeping a balance with nature. He leads a small band of Mechanics in the shore (New Jersey?) that looks to the City in the Sea (the ruins of Manhattan), and his main bringing ancient machinery -but especially cadillacs- back to life. He also has contact -albeit rare and only when they want to- with a race of strange lizard-men that seem to know more about nature and the dangers that come with disrupting the Machinatio Vitae.


Then there is Hanna Dundee, a scholar (but just as adept with a shotgun as she is using her brain), recently arrived ambassador from the city of Wasson, also known as the City of White Marble (Washington D.C.). She is unique in the sense that she can read the scriptures in books of the ancients, no one in the City in the Sea can read. She has leaned that in recent excavations the tribe of the City in the Sea has found intact libraries with books that somehow were able to survive all these centuries, and she wants to know what's in them. Possibly uncovering what caused the Great Cataclysm.

Unfortunately, she will have to go through Wilhelmina Schanrhorst, the visible head of a the corrupt government -is there any other type of government?- that leads the City in the Sea. This ruthless woman is also in a head on collision course with Jack Tenrec, defying everything the Machinatio Vitae and probably blindly repeating the same mistakes that led the ancient humans into the Great Cataclysm.

Other than the heavy Mad Max, I believe that a movie about Cadillacs and Dinosaurs would have elements that would remind people of movies like the original Planet of the Apes, King Kong and Jurassic Park. Now I think that a very, very important aspect of the movie should be the interaction between Jack and Hanna. They are basically one of those old-fashioned movie couples where the sexual tension comes from witty banter and getting on each other nerves, where they would rather ignore each other than admit they have feelings to one another.


If they ever did this movie one thing they should avoid is a text and/or voiceover in the beginning trying to explain the Xenozoic Age, almost always it comes off as cheesy, and is an indication of poor story-telling (I will say that the only movies that seem to be able to pull this off are the Star Wars movies). The movie should dump the audience straight into the action, trying to explain before hand why there are stegosaurus chasing after a 1950s car is only pointless, and besides the characters are just about as confused on their surroundings as the audience would be.

I don't know about you, but if done right, a movie like this would be just an incredible pop-corn success. I'm not holding my breath to see a trailer based on this fairly underground comic, but you never know...